After a regretful summer...

I don't know if anyone out there feels like i do but I feel like i need to devote myself in something bigger than any thing in my daily life. This does not mean i want to devote in the thought of some mighty creator. 

As i get any good idea to do i just can't find the energy to move my ass! I simply just don't, and keep on self sabotage. I do it for some that i have been wanting for a long time. 

For example, this winter i met a person that teaches diving, and offered me some free lessons in the summer at some other city perfect for vacation. What did i do? Not leave my home! Almost throughout all the summer i stayed at home! 

Or i could have started running, but i said that my knees hurt thus i shan't! And i could have eaten a little less to lose some unwanted weight! But instead i swam and just kept on eating! 
Even worse, i started trying some high calorie recipes. 

The worst that i did was not doing anything about my occupation. OK i don't have a job right now, but i could have tried some competitions! But of course i had my excuse ready in hand, that i was not working therefore i did not had the resources for a competition!

At least my conscience is clear on some causes. For example i recycle everything i can even though it is more expensive to buy recyclable things and it takes more time to separate them. Or i have been helping Greenpeace, we have to share their ambition in order to survive within some not so distant future. 

At the age of 30, still living with my parents, no loved "one"s, at least i do travel!